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sarah.jones7654@hotmail.com

Tips to Dating a Single Parent

By January 8, 2017 Being Mom, Everyday life

Dating a single parent has many up and downs, and is not the traditional dating you may be expecting. It is actually the complete opposite, like living on a whole different planet, and having to adapt to a new and ever changing atmospheric pressures, oxygen levels and lifestyles.  This new planet, is not a horrible or terrifying planet, but completely different from the planet we have grown so familar with.

People who make the decision and choose to date a single parent need to know, and be prepared for this new way of living.

  1. GOING ON DATES IS A CHALLENGE:

Going on random romantic dates, probably is not in the cards. ( unless the little one is involved of course) Things need to be planned well in advance, with the expectation, that plans may get cancelled due to last minute emergencies. That being said, you need to step up the game with these dates. Very rarely do we get to go out and have an alone night. So when we do, we like it planned and romantic. It doesn’t have to be expensive, but the surprise of even babysitting arrangements is huge points to us.  The dates will be amazing and  highly appreciated, because deep down we wish to spend more time alone with you.

2. LIFE IS BUSY- IF YOU CANT HELP…GET OUT ( a little harsh, but true)

As a single parent our daily routine consists of rushed wake ups, forced breakfasts, clothes battles, rushing to school, long work days, pick ups, sports, dinner, bedtime stories, back rubs, and mending break downs. If you cant handle the little time we have during the week day to devote right to you, this probably isn’t the right fit. The way we spend time with you is , we need you to help out, help us with supper, with mending break downs, with down time after bed. Believe me, to single parents helping us with the little things, is the most amazing and a great way to win our heart. Just recently I was reading my son a bedtime story and the man I am dating came in and listened to be part of family time. This completely melts a single parents heart, knowing someone is devoted to you and your child, without being the biological parent.

3.TRULY CARE ABOUT THEIR CHILD

We all know, our little one, is the top priority. We want someone who understands that, and will make it their top priority to. Fake-ness is spotted quickly. You need to understand most of our time is devoted to our children, so be part of that time.You need to take the child on as one of your own, and that can be a very scary concept. But if you are in it for the long run, making them your family is a must.

4. WE ALWAYS HAVE OUR GUARD UP

This is a habit we can not turn off. Even when the relationship is perfect,their is a voice in our head saying “he/she is going to hurt us”. We are sorry. Our children are number one, and always will be. We protect them from monsters in the closet, bullies at school, so we need to protect them from potential heart ache. Please don’t take this personally. We are not trying to drive you away, or be distant. We just have our protective gear up. When you see the shield in action, show us a little extra love that day, give us a hug and say you care..that’s all we need.

5.NO GAMES ALLOWED

There is no time or tolerance for games. Our lives are so jammed with sports, parent meetings, and careers, we don’t have time for this garbage.  If you have any of those tricks up your sleeve, best not to get involved in the first place. Like listed before WE HAVE OUR GUARD UP. So even if it looks like a game may come into play, your potential of lasting is slim to none. Make it clear to us by actions and vocal that no games will played.

6. WE ARE THE BEST

With all those tips, that can be scary and intimidating. But we make amazing companions.

We don’t want drama- We have enough chaos going on in our heads and lives, we probably can’t handle anymore. “keep that shit , far far away”.

We love unconditionally- If you show your potential, we will give you everything we have. We know how,we have already loved unconditionally since the positive pregnancy sign. We understand selflessness.

Sex will be great. We know what we like and want, we know how to cuddle, and the times to actually ‘make love’ are slim, so it needs to be 100% fulfilling.

Debating on switching planets, here is your survival kit. Let it be the best adventure of all time.

 

 

 

 

 

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why is skinny shaming OK?

By January 6, 2017 Being Mom, Everyday life, health

“Skinny”, “anorexic”, “body of a 12 year old boy” are just a few of the comments I have received from society. My whole life I have been“blessed” as some would say, with being extra skinny. Chances of me having curves, or to look like a ‘woman’ are just not in my genetic makeup. I balance between a size 0 to 1 pant size, and always buy extra small shirts. Weight gain diets are usually  new year and summer resolutions for me. Where I consume as much protein and calories as possible, Never ever seeing any results. The only weight gain I was blessed with, was when I was pregnant and gained 50lbs, which disappeared days after birth of my son. Lucky boy has been blessed with my genes…

Every family event I attend I hear ” go eat something, you are way to skinny”. Getting reminded constantly to eat from friends.  Just last week I was faced with a social shaming. ” are you ok?, you are clearly not takingcare of yourself. You need to start eating, and definitely stop wearing black, it makes you look way to thin”…..what do you say to this? I grin and bear it. while cursing them up and down in my head.

SO why is Skinny Shaming OK?

We see it everyday, From magazines, news, social media, and in our own reality. People getting criticized for not having curves, or not being above a size 7. Social media post consist of “guys want something to hold on to, not a stick” Why is this OK? Is this not as bad as calling someone with curves fat? overweight? or to eat less calories?

I remember walking through a small town fair, with a past boyfriend. In small towns everyone knows everyone, So clearly the friend that walked up to us, knew I have always been skinny, and am not just starving myself. The friend told my boyfriend at the time ” How do you sleep with her, it would be like sleeping with a 12 year old boy” Well thank you, for making me feel GREAT about myself. For weeks after I looked in the mirror wishing I could just gain 10lbs, going out in public was anxiety filled. The comments were just so overwhelming. Feeling ashamed, ugly, and not up to standards are just some of the horrible thoughts skinny shaming causes.

SO let me ask you this.

Would you call someone overweight? Fat? or tell them to stop eating so much?

Absolutely not. That is inappropriate, morally wrong, and clearly rude.  There is numerous of reasons why someone may give the image of being overweight. Body type, health reasons, stress to name a few. So is being skinny any different? are we not allowed to have a thin body type without being anorexic, and on top of it shamed for, all because we don’t match the other 90% of the population.

For some reason society has come to the conclusion If you are skinny, it must be intentional, and making it known to us, is acceptable. In reality we are just as self conscious as any other human being. Finding imperfections about our bodies.

All shaming is wrong race, weight, disability, or any other difference. We as a society need to take this into consideration, and accept and understand everyone is and should be different. How boring would the world be if EVERYONE WAS THE SAME!

 

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Why entrepreneur’s need entrepreneur friends.

By January 4, 2017 entrepreneur, Everyday life, success

As I find myself curled up on my kitchen floor after a long and unsuccesSfull work day. Rethinking all the mistakes I have made in my business. The clients I should I have responded to earlier, the large purchases I made that were impacting my financial security. The relationships I held onto that were negatively affecting my business. All the advice I had received from outsiders on how to run my business.

How could I get to this point. The most unsettling feeling, of watching your dreams and life crush before you. Continuing to dwell  “I have tried all the advice from friends, on running a successful business”

“Why, am I still failing?”

Still positioned in my breakdown position, My phone rings. I answer it with a tone, only a close friend can recognize. I continue my breakdown to Rishi ( Another entrepreneur).  To my surprise  the most amazing, inspiring advice, broke me from my horrible and miserable state.

” why are you taking advice, from people who have never been in your position?”

Holy HELL!!….he is 100% right. How could I be taking advice, and running my business, on advice from people who have never owned and operated their own business.  What a BIG mistake..But what a HUGE BREAKTHROUGH.

I realized, the mistakes I have made ( clearly not all of them) were based on friends opinions, what they believed would make a success. Friends who work for employers, go to work, and leave their work far far away from home.  Friends who don’t know or understand all the extra work involved in the advice. The paper work, bills, payroll. etc…etc.. Let me add in I love my friends and family dearly, I respect their love for giving me advice. In reality some of it is just not realistic for my situation.

The importance of me sharing my experience and breakdown to all you entrepreneur’s curled up in misery and over thinking on the kitchen floor.

BUILD A STRONG SOCIAL NETWORK OF ENTREPRENEUR FRIENDS

People who probably will not be running the same business plan as you, but will be venturing through the same paperwork, climbing the same mountains, sharing similar achievements. Think of all that you have learned on your journey. How much advice could you give?…….

So why not take advice from someone that has finished climbing the mountain,  that you are packed and stumbling on.

Building face to face relationship’s with other entrepreneur’s is the most ideal, giving you the opportunity to escape the office during a break down to meet for coffee, but online networking and groups are of large importance to.

I have attached a few links, of must join groups. The first link is from Forbes, a book I highly suggest downloading th APP for. It has giving me advice, support, and motivation. The link will give you names of organizations to join.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/johnhall/2012/10/09/the-best-organizations-for-entrepreneurs/#5651524474d8

This link is the top 16  linkedin social networks that every entrepreneur should be a part of . http://www.businessnewsdaily.com/7185-entrepreneur-linkedin-groups.html

 

GET OUT THERE…be the SUCCESS you can be..

STOP taking advice from by-standers,

  JOIN an entrepreneur social network group.

 

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Career or Parenting? Why choose

By January 3, 2017 Being Mom, Everyday life, success

 

So it comes to the question Career? or Parenting?

but why choose one?

Showing dedication and pride in your career, is a huge stepping stone for your child. Not only does it show them work ethic, but it shows them the will to succeed in their passions.

Starting my company I was constantly faced with the questions ” doesn’t your son come first?” “or Now you have no time for your son, you will regret this.” In reality, it was the best step I made.  My son loves being involved in the company, He talks about his passions more, and amazing life lessons are being taught

The number one  tip I can give as a career/ single mom  is involve your kids in the business. This will give them drive and excitement about the business, You will build memories, and most of all. You will be giving the most valuable lesson of all. Showing your child dreams can come true.

So is Parenting? Or Career? A question

 

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Negative people Do affect SUCCESS

By January 1, 2017 Everyday life, success

Find yourself surrounded by negative people?
Don’t think it affects your success?

Negativity has a way of soaking into your thoughts. A way that every decision you make about your future, becomes consumed with ;
” Am I making the right decision”
“Am I doing the wrong thing”
” Should I even be doing this”

Eventually all your drive, dreams and energy get surrounded by this darkness. Which makes every decision feel like the wrong one, or that you are not built to be a business owner.

When I envisioned my dream of opening a massage/yoga clinic, I remember the excitement in me. I had so many dreams and visions, nothing could stop me. I woke up each morning glowing, ready and extremely excited for the day ahead of me.

 

How did this change?

I allowed toxic friends, and relationships into my life. I started finding every move and decision I made for my business, was quickly shut down, second guessed, and criticized. I went home completely exhausted. I got to the point where my work suffered, I was not putting in the extra effort to make my business successful. I had no idea, why I would put myself through all this extra work, when I could of just worked for someone else, and let them do the labor.

This is exactly what toxic people do, and want. Whether it is in the conscience or sub-conscience state. The negativity eventually wears on your drive and will for success, eventually putting your business on the back burner, or not the number one priority.

Are you willing to let your dreams fail, for these negative influences?
Because at the end of the day. This is YOUR life and DREAMS, not theirs. It will not affect your friends ( or whoever the influence may be) lives. This black hole is not worth hanging out around, it will eventually expand and consume you.

I am not saying that you will not have hard days. or days that you feel like you want to quit. But I can guarantee those days will be far less.

Start today, deplete the negativity. FIND YOUR SUCCESS, FIND YOUR HAPPINESS. wake up each morning with the glow and motivation to make a difference in your world.

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