My Life Balancing Blog
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stress

When do we start making decisions for US?

By January 16, 2017 Being Mom, Everyday life, health

One of the most taxing situations an individual can encounter is ridicule from within their own family circle. The feeling of being over analyzed and harshly judged from the ones we hold dearest to us is enough to send our bodies into mental distress.

The “need” to please our parents (or think we should) is programmed into our heads as a young child. Wanting to score that goal to make them proud, getting an “A” on that spelling test, to run home and earn satisfaction from the ones we cherish. These little acts are imprinted onto us and brought into our everyday adulthood.

But when do we start directing our lives for us?

It was the year I had my son, I became conscious of the whole situation. I have become a responsible adult, fully capable of making appropriate, and healthy decisions for my families future. However, I could not do it without my family’s ridicule. It seemed the littlest decision I would make would be accompanied with a phone call, and a million reasons why it is wrong and why I should change it to their desire. I changed every aspect of my life, my parenting, my social life, my employment. All of this to cater to my families need and reasoning how my life should be ran; hoping deep down they would look at me with satisfaction and respect my inner child longed for. Most of the decisions I made to please and satisfy their needs would completely turn my world upside down. It made things more difficult than need be, running around like a headless chicken bending to everyone’s whim. I became stressed, run down, lost 20lbs (when I was too skinny already), my life became a hectic and chaotic mess. Was it all worth the trials and tribulations just to have that feeling of approval?

 

The approval never came, it was a constant judgement on every aspect and detail of my life. 6 months ago, I finally came to the conclusion, this life is for me and my son. It is ours and ours only. Things started to change. I had to distance myself from my family, make decisions without approval, and do what was best for us. Life got easier, the running around lessened, my stress decreased, and my weight… well I’m still working on that one.

It was the hardest, and still one of the most difficult decisions to make. My heart wants their support and approval, but my brain knows the best for us. The urge to please our family, is stuck in our emotional upbringing, even when it comes with criticism and disapproval. My advice to everyone experiencing this: distance yourself, make your own decision without making that phone call, or text message. Choose the life that makes it easier, less stress, and most importantly happier…and see how things transform for the better.

Family is a wonderful part of everyone’s life, don’t get me wrong, but at the end of the day what you make of this world is up to you and YOU alone.

 

 

 

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How YOGA saved me from a BREAK DOWN!

By January 9, 2017 Being Mom, entrepreneur, Everyday life, health, success

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I am not extremely flexible. I am not 100% laid back all the time, I still get stress and anxiety on a regular basis.

So how did yoga change my daily stress? If I’m still experiencing it?

Yoga shows you ways of coping and managing your anxiety. recognizing what it is, and using techniques to lower  your bodies anxious reaction to the situation. Yoga will not take away the stressful situations, but it will give you the knowledge to control your bodies reaction to it.

2 years ago, At my sons art class, watching him through the glass as he splashed paint all over the place. I found myself gasping for air, my throat felt life I just had a severe allergic reaction and it was closing. My chest began to feel like it was collapsing. Looking at the other parents, I was waiting for their facial reactions. Thinking I probably looked like I was going to kick the bucket. I rushed to the bathroom to look at my face, nope not swollen. I called my friend, and made him meet me at my apartment in case I needed to go to the hospital. I was definitely having a heart attack….or so I thought. Toughing it out that night, not going to the hospital. I came to realize. Oh my god that is what an anxiety attack is.

From that point, I started experiencing numerous anxiety attacks a week. It was unbearable. They would happen at the oddest times. Driving to work, with music on and no traffic. Right before bedtime. I felt like I was losing control of every situation. Life wasn’t fun anymore. It was constant fear of these horrible attacks. Simple decisions became stressful. Something needed to change. I was headed for a serious BREAK DOWN

I STARTED WATCHING YOGA VIDEOS AT NIGHT AND IN THE MORNING

After research, and recommendations. I chose to start the yoga practice. I started with watching videos on Youtube. I would put my son to bed, make a tea, lay my mat on the floor with my laptop, and watch decreased anxiety videos. The first few nights, I noticed a bit of a difference. I could feel the stretches, and it was relaxing but was not decreasing my anxiety levels.

“This isn’t helping, I don’t need to get more flexible, I need to help my anxiety” angrily venting to a friend. I remember him saying. ” Sarah, you are not listening to your body. You are doing it only for the poses. Look past that, concentrate on your breath, and become one with your body”

I decided to keep trying, I mean what’s the harm. That night, I grabbed my Mat and tea, tuned in to YouTube. Really trying to focus on my breath. During that practice something changed. I remember like it was 2 minutes ago. It is like I could hear everything in my body. I lived in a high rise on a main street, and the traffic and sirens disappeared. Each pose , my breath took me into a deeper stretch and mental relaxation. I finished the video, grabbed my tea, and headed to the balcony. I was in complete ZEN. My mind was so clear, I don’t even think, I could remember my stresses at that point. All my visions and life seemed to make sense, and positive vibes were glowing from me.

The next morning I woke up an hour before my son, to do morning yoga “THIS IS IT, THIS IS MY ANXIETY MEDICATION” I practiced religiously every night and every morning. Each video bringing me into a better mind state.  The mornings I would feel energized for the day. Knowing that when stress appeared, i could handle it. The nights I would feel relaxed and free.

YOGA DOES NOT CURE ANXIETY, IT GIVES YOU THE TECHNIQUES TO CONTROL IT

Now I am not saying, my anxiety is completely gone, and that I no longer have any stress in my life.  Believe me with a business to run, a 5 year old son, 2 dogs and sports to attend life gets crazy. But yoga gave me the techniques to use when in those stressed situations, I can cope. It lets me connect with my body, to control my break downs and attacks.

Now as many think yoga is only for exercise, and you have to be flexible. YOU ARE WRONG!

For me yoga took me on a road to recovery from a BREAK DOWN.

“It’s not about touching my toes. Its about what i learned on the way down”

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